I am funny in this way, scold me and beat me won't mean much . Touch my family friends , or hit a child or a women . I will do whatever it takes to make sure you learn what you have coming , no rules , if takes something brutal or fatal that's something I am willing to accept. I don't respect , people who abuse women or children and yes I will give me life for a stranger if it means doing the right thing! And know once you are my friend you are family so know I got your back

I'm done with it take it out the door. Seriously you treat me in a way that is out of reality. So let me give you some clarity before this situation gets handled brutily. I feel like your eyes travel through me, I'm here but you are nowhere near. Just want you to know I'm no joke and someday I am gonna hand it to you note for note

step back relax , it will not end like that . there is much more to picture then just the  simple facts

You drink that's fine, you smoke you're choice, you sleep with you're loved one even know it's before mirage doesn't effect me simply I don't judge and I don't expect to be judge by others when I see people do these things I don't even see it cause I don't go there cause I love people and I see beyond there mistakes, but there is one law I will always honor and I will pass judgment through the word of God and that is to love and respect anyone and everyone and to do your best to treat and honor all God's people, you lust big deal who doesn't we are human beings sure we shouldn't abuse lust, or abuse alcohol or abuse anything, but most importantly don't abuse God's children for the have every right to this world as you do.

Muslims , jews, atheist, short, small, challenged, crippled, old, young , black, white, Mexican, British, if there is one thing my mother showed me was to love and honor everyone as Jesus did, some people say I let people walk on me and throw me around, but I don't see it that way I see it as going beyond my flesh and taking hold of the greatest commandment to every bit written love thy neighbor as thy self, Jesus died not for me but for us we are family and all deserve a chance to see eternity

My account is unfiltered , I say what I say. I am not worried about offense or whatever. It's my account my life. I feel like at the hospital that some people that deserved to be in the room at the end got left out... Also people I am me, and to be honest I am way different then any of my family , I have different views and different plans. Eventually I want to break off do my own thing be my own person and not half to worrie about what some people will say. I have and will do things you don't agree on but that is me, I am tired of being fake I am gonna be real. And if I must be judged last time I checked God has the book and power , so I'll take his judgement and accept , outside that I don't give the smallest amount about it

My minds in check. Just trying to keep everything into a way it may connect. Sometimes it seems like my voice can't relay, what I want to say living it everyday. I wonder if there's a way to enjoying this life that is out on display

late nights time depleted. this whole thing from the get go had already been defeated . if this all could go away i could feel relieved but then what would i have achieved ? i try to escape these fights and words that are  exchanged every night . it is becoming normal to me is that ok? what happens when your enemy becomes your friend ? how do you defend what you are so out to destroy. these moments these people this experience, a love hate relationship , it is almost as if you found peace it feels like something is so wrong because it can't be that easy. this confused mind state from everything you have learn to this dare of pressure and chaos finally leads to ask yourself , is it you ? is it them ? and if not either then who ? possibly a man named lucifer. the struggle is real hell is just as real as heaven

ha.. figured i would hit the keyboard while the keys are hot. all night i got it around the clock writing is a passion i have in the back stock.
i might rock your socks off with these lyrics, the inspiration attends to knock  some back but relax .

this is as real as it gets i don't back down and i don't quite i write straight up legit, spit words that would be offense in other words , but since you see , you are in the same position as me, we connect perfectly. when i write i feel free so much bottle up inside of me , so i take that time and energy and turn it into a masterpiece

You treated these scars like the are wounds, but you should of known you can not fix what has already be done, how did you confuse the two I am still in love with you.

Course
I have come so far and I still feel so close, if only I could shut my eyes and imagine it all different but somehow I like how it is, these scars made to wounds, scars made to wounds.

This life and my dream to be, I can connect to the things you see. I have been in and out of everything

. Course
I have come so far and I still feel so close, if only I could shut my eyes and imagine it all different but somehow I like how it is, these scars made to wounds, scars made to wounds.

I don't expect it to be normal again, I can't take back the way I have been, so please just see me for who I truly plan to be.

So far I have come
So much I have done
How long do I run
Normal is what I seek
Fun is all I want to feel

Here I am still Come and find me I will be laying still

Laying still

Scars made to wounds
Scars made to wounds

Mickey
Song scars made wounds

how can you be sure what happiness is ? eve more so how do you find it.

still trying to find out what is better , to be silent or heard, still or in movement . what is it i am looking for , there is not much to go the distant for . building a structure is this real or a lecture , guess this is it you can tell your self you are happy and aim to be , but in reality you never will be fully happy

Just because I believe does it mean I can't have hard times and I can't experience life, I feel like these rules and standards will be the death of me, I mean seriously so much bottled up inside. somedays as I lay in bed I get a headache from what goes on in my head. Who we to say what's right and wrong, all I want is to be me, and if I mess up then I'll awnsere in the end. I am giving it all I got and that's all I have to give. If life had a figure I'd love to fight it cause it's just to much especially for the goo hearted

Life in the middle. Kitchen counters. Open the fridge to find what you already did. Microwave counting down, anticipation of the beep until that last heart beat, trying to keep our dishes clean, I guess God is the washer, put us in we come out clean and hot, we must cool down if we expect to keeps others around. I know how it sounds but this is being layed out, sweep up the pieces, garbage is full clean out your mind, get ready to mop up the dirt that us dragged in. Point is people you can't be perfect a kitchen can get cleaned but will never stay clean and in some way it's always dirty somewhat. Don't stress something that is not possible to complete

I am sorry it was delt this way. Youngest one but sometimes feel evenly matched, age comes and goes. Perhaps I will relapse , my feelings are not acts. This ain't a battle you can see, its spiritual war I can feel. I am still standing not by choice but by life, God is carrying me on. What's wrong so many things are going on, though I feel lost I know I will find myself at the end layed back and relaxed. My belief is that even God has been unhappy before even he has been depressed .

I fear these nights, the cold ones with no lights. the lets just talk, that turn into a fight. tears that fill your vision and bring you to rash decisions , faded perhaps jaded. these feelings are intense as i have already before stated .

dreams and screams i think i forgot what it means , to feel the warmth of the sun beaming down on me . so suddenly i feel my blood rushing over me , God found me inside a place with no location . what it would be to have a mental vacation. finding fate in this conclusion chaos and confusion . these gifts i have been abusing , confusing i know because i don't even know, what exactly what i have concluded into reality . is this me ? the real me ? am i awake ? real ? or fake? truth? or mistake?

I don't expect you to understand the fact In hand, the way you been to me and those around, I lost my time and I have felt your anger, distance has made you a stranger , there is no looking up to those who look down, if you could see, who i am going to be maybe it would be, enough for you to be close to me but then that would be fake and I'd feel it was a mistake.

In some ways I understand your side trying to be perfect, is a big step when it can't be met. But i will not  begin that path, instead I'll accept what I have, I don't plan to seek what  fits you, instead I will step out to those who take me as I am, one and the same.

This is for the people who have those people

I am letting go, and taking those who love me and blocking out those who hurt me, for I wasted to much time trying to meet people's standards and to be there for them when the had already forgotten me.

I am glad it's giggles and smiles and your heart is full of God's desires

But while you laugh and play, I'll be here still standing my ground against the waves crashing around, listening to those distance sounds, and in the future you'll seek my opinion but I'll already have Givin it away, no more sorrow no more pain I let go of this in every way

so just gonna lay it all out.

so  first off  90%  of the time if i am not with my friends i am depressed .

i don't feel that i am me i feel i am aiming at what others want and see me to be .

i feel a lone a lot, that does mean my family and friends are not there for me , and it does not make it better by just doing things , with my best friends i feel not a lone .

i am terrible with people even more so in big groups, i do not know how to talk or hold a conversation.

i feel if i was to be myself most of the people around me would disagree .

i don't know who or what i want to be, i am in survival mode as of now.

also all this should not come to a shock since i am at one of the peak times of a persons most stressful part of there life .

i been working really hard to be in shape and i don't want set backs.

i sometimes feel distant from God but i think of him a lot

i am a very emotional person.

i worry about a lot of things big or small the same

i wanna get a job when i am fixed but don't know were and i don't want to work all the time !

somehow i feel like i want to die .. but somehow i managed to believe i must live.
is this the way i was made to be ? can't you see there is always something wrong with me ?
you can say i am wasting all of me but the truth is instead of looking through me, open up to what is inside, i don't need to lie, i should not half to hide my feelings, are here and my heart is right here for the taking but i can see why nobody is near me .

This is a message for those who lost there Faith from trials.

Yes you went through them, and why we stand and say that God did not help he abandoned us, think for a moment, you went through it yes did you survive yes, how do you think you made it through all lf it, not a lone thats for sure, God helps the blind

i do not want to be judged, and if you can't accept my decision then part ways, for i am me and that is who i always will be, you can tell me not to drink or not to fight but you can't make me i am my own person, respect me and even more so those who know my heart, believe in me that i am wise enough to stay on track, for i have been through a storm and have just toss on a rain jacket and God has lead me through the water.

just respect and love and understanding is all want, more then money or anything i can get

i have giving you my love, and my helping hand , o son and daughter of mine, i have kept you safe, clothed and bathed you have been in your time, i have provided food, and shelter, but still you stray from my open arms ? why run ? why do you turn away when i mean only good, know it is not to late to come back i will be here waiting longing for you to return to me , i will take the guilt the shame and the anger and even the pain away you are love more then anything can ever be loved

son/daughter, hear my words, focus on me not of your mistakes, for i have seen them i have died to wipe them away, do not defeat yourself or walk from your authority that i have given you, for did not my followers stumble? but speak my word ?

lay down your burdens and call on me and you will never struggle, know i am here and i love you always.

Feel like writing something about you 2, mom it is so different without you, as I lay here wishing you'd be near, it's not your health that I fear cause I know God is holding you near, but it's my heart that longs for your comfort once again.

Grampa are time was short but it felt like forever because the bond we had, it was like we had already knew each other from the start, those days of golf and moments of laughter touched my heart and now I know your with my mom together in a song of praise waiting for me to arrive.

I lost you both in the best of ways to heaven you have gone to stay, there is no doubt that the Kingdom roared at your arrival 2 angels brought together see you soon!

I'm fine just beat up again, how can you explain what can't be named, life is life, it ain't easy and it ain't 100% cheesy.

Chains and shackles, set back and hassles , just too find a balance but everybody wants too see a difference, and be different, but I shouldn't have too fit other peoples, comfort to enjoy my life, I got sins and I carry em , when I'm dead I'll confess all of em.

the don't even try, think I washed up and dryed up, claim that I got potential but people treat me like a daily essential, weather it's intentional just want this world to eventually know, there is no just sit back and enjoy there is live or be killed

He got up, rebuked the wind mark 4:39-41.

Son daughter I ask for have I not made you in my image ?? Have I not Givin you authority of the land? Does the ocean not still at a point? 

My children I have Givin you power over the enemy through me, that not can stand against you as long as I your creator is beside you, with me there can be no fear , no failure for you are perfect in my eyes you are my most beloved of all, and I care for and watch over you.

Though you may not see I fight the battles you can not see, the spiritual battle between heaven and hell keeping the corrupt from you, do you not appreciate my sacrifice have I not Givin you plenty ? 

Felt like writing this

The hideous ways of what is being teached today, thought I'd stand up but I already fought today. Which way is the right way ? How much is to much? if we fall down and connect with every unwanted touch, hatred and such I got that much from these walls that cut us from what is in store for us .

Blood , fear and pure evil and such, this may be a place of wonders but the enemy lurks like a pool of darkness, spread throughout our lane and we are the only light that remains to stand

 don't need to be confirmed for my actions, for i have learned this life has its very own terms. hopes been burned and reactions have been joined in chaos and miss positions of over placed attraction.

put on earth to withstand total corruption were am i in this place of nothing?

here to seek and to save, sometimes it may not feel like you have done anything today to help the one who gave it all for you that day, but listen to these words i say even a mention of his grace can bring light into this twisted place, so remember you play a key role in the fight for our soul

Come enter, let not I man behind the judge but let my Father above .

Have people not seen? That there have been those who have walked from the Lord because the try to meet the churches standards ? Or try to reach the standards of those around them.

Come all who seek me the Lord commands, for actions and deeds will not give you right passage to my kingdom ! Repent for your sins and claim my name wherever you go tell of me show me in your heart believe in me and you shall enter my kingdom but only through my son Jesus

You drink that's fine, you smoke you're choice, you sleep with you're loved one even know it's before mirage doesn't effect me simply I don't judge and I don't expect to be judge by others when I see people do these things I don't even see it cause I don't go there cause I love people and I see beyond there mistakes, but there is one law I will always honor and I will pass judgment through the word of God and that is to love and respect anyone and everyone and to do your best to treat and honor all God's people, you lust big deal who doesn't we are human beings sure we shouldn't abuse lust, or abuse alcohol or abuse anything, but most importantly don't abuse God's children for the have every right to this world as you do.

Muslims , jews, atheist, short, small, challenged, crippled, old, young , black, white, Mexican, British, if there is one thing my mother showed me was to love and honor everyone as Jesus did, some people say I let people walk on me and throw me around, but I don't see it that way I see it as going beyond my flesh and taking hold of the greatest commandment to every bit written love thy neighbor as thy self, Jesus died not for me but for us we are family and all deserve a chance to see eternity

Feel like writing something about you 2, mom it is so different without you, as I lay here wishing you'd be near, it's not your health that I fear cause I know God is holding you near, but it's my heart that longs for your comfort once again.

Grampa are time was short but it felt like forever because the bond we had, it was like we had already knew each other from the start, those days of golf and moments of laughter touched my heart and now I know your with my mom together in a song of praise waiting for me to arrive.

I lost you both in the best of ways to heaven you have gone to stay, there is no doubt that the Kingdom roared at your arrival 2 angels brought together see you soon!

The way I've posted and my brutal honesty I feel, has lead some people's feelings about me astray and for that i am truly sorry, but in other words not sorry at all cause what would be the point of friends and love ones if the only care about you at your peak

t all started with madness eve picked up that apple causing Jesus overwhelming sadness ! The snake lucifer, his sickening lies and slithered still voice, draw them a astray so away the went from the garden, embarrassed by their nakedness ashamed with there choices, haunted by their mistakes and miss lead voices.

This is message is for those of you who have gone off your own way, you believe God makes no sense but have you looked around ? Have you ever thought about Satan and his plan to destroy your life that just maybe your being miss lead and you are exactly were the enemy plans for you to be, like a unborn infant with his life layer before a judgment call hopeless with no voice to speak so his parents speak death upon him? Are you allowing Satan to speak death over you're life ?

Are you angry because God has done this and he won't do this ? But have not once counted you're good health and wealth, or the fact you have a beautiful child, and that you have food on the table, that you have you're spouse or you're mother by you ? Have you completely put God behind you because you feel you have gone to far so you can never return ?

Truth be told don't let people around you or anything be the answer , you must be it and if you feel convicted or you feel God is calling you back run to him don't wait, ignore the people that stray you away for the only admit evil deeds and lies to you, to keep you from you're true happiness, come back give him a opportunity to renew your soul ! And see just how much he loves you and how much he really makes sense .

Remember people sin is fun and doing it your way is fun, but one day when you come down to the bottom and there is no way out who will you call on ? Or when death comes for you who will you pray upon ?

So I need prayer for my back and the decision that I must make . And here are my options 

1 God will heal me

2.learn to accept this will be a life long thing and learn to live with it and get a job accordingly that will fit my condition. 

3 surgery this is the one I am leaning the farthest from, do to it will be a very heavy surgery I will lost everything I work so hard for and it will disable some things I was able to do and also cause me to be weaker in back even more so as I get older .

4 there is a laser treatment that will kill my nerves not fixing my back but taking away the pain, this is the one I'm most for do to no heavy recovery time and it will get me out of pain, and also while I'm out of pain God could heal me later on please thoughts and comments !

Also need prayer for a bigger truck it's not a stressful issue or a rush , just would be a blessing , so on God's timing , and with the right financial decision .

Please come in sit down judge me criticize me , tell me what you think of me, is it not plane to see I don't care what you see ? I am me and that's what I want to be. If you don't like my music don't listen, if you don't like my shows don't watch, if you don't like my post get lost , I love the Lord , I listen to eminem , I watch walking dead, I pray, I'm who I am and that's all I should half to be , so please if not for me then for peace let me be

Sorry but the house is gone we are moving on, off we go to a strangers home, treated with so much love , though the pain was tough, we made it through the day moving place to place now we are finally home, little apartment place starting over. A few years go by every day the same old line but we are getting through and holing onto you o Lord.

I wake up that day news comes to my ears, my worst fear had came I never thought this way, keep your phone on, don't go back to sleep, do you hear the sirens that is your mom we got to go, 2 long days sitting waiting wondering will we say goodbye or has she already pass to the other side ? Then when that plug was pulled shatter apart the ones we use to know are not so close, anymore, our hearts we're thrown straight out the door, now we go through this emotional faze, it can never be the same.

Now here I am today, so afraid but yet so content, God Knows What Will Happen Around Me In Another 20 Years So Some Days I Just shed Some tears, A Few Years Is Like Yesterday, So Today All I Can Say Is I Been Through, The Flames And I'll Never Be The Same, So If You Catch Me Acting Kinda Strange Remember The Path I Walked To Get Here Today i guess that's all i got left to say

I'm really hoping that I can start a business and it take off, I think I can be blessed so much from it, through God, through staying healthy, making good money, and my belief is we need more people preaching outside the church, I wasn't called to be a pastor but a preacher and a preacher is so one I believe goes beyond that and reaches the people that need to hear and know about Jesus and through a business I can do that !

Lights down low a night of snow, as the moon glows, a silent flow of the wind hitting the window spark your mind, should I go or should I stay, this cold yet charming day, as the sun comes up and the ice melts away warmth comes to you almost instantly, suddenly you hear laughter and cheers can it be that summer is finally here?

Today exactly 2 years since my mom passed, thank you God for taking care of her and reuniting her with her family up stairs.

The day I lost you was the day I felt pain truly, those nights and weeks made my heart and soul so very weak, as I watch hoping you'd cling to life. A year goes by it seemed you had only just gone, now two years, sneeks up and the date catches my eye, the day I die will be of joy because I'll be with you once again in the sky.

I'm unique when I write, I am no longer weak, it's different it's the way that I speak, there is something different when my fingers touch the keys I feel at ease, it ain't competition it's a passion to express never the less it's what I feel inside.

And if died any moment my hope is that my words would be heard and my voice remembered this is who I am, I'll be writing till the end and singing till the last breath. Just a big person with a bigger heart, not afraid of the dark cause I'm to busy soaking in the feel of th stars .

Good morning, it is no more hello just a goodbye and lay low, today I might put on my halo, is there a difference of what you do know and should know. Happy, looking out my bedroom window the sun glows, some days I wonder which way to go but then I see a rainbow, even if I was caught in the snow I'd see beauty something you probably already know, point is their is more to life then pain, and so much more to gain then sit and die away in a puddle of shame backed by everything staying the Same.

Step up to the plate, fear is far to late, I'm climbing up my rates, picking up these broken plates I can see there is a lot at stake so why pretend to be fake, shaken yes breath taken from this world and what it has been making but someone has caught my eye and he is the one and only ruler in the sky

I'm happy today, tomorrow is a different day, some see depression as a weakness maybe even a sickness but honestly it's a gift I'm learning so in the future I can go were no one else can and us things only God can ignite, I'm not always right, isn't it better I'm public, or is best I'm enclosed and hidden so I can be withered into my doom, it's true it's far to often and I'm working on it, just remember I'm me and that's exactly who I'm gonna be

The 4th should have been in the paper, best day since never, just good times and made up lines, one of those you wish would last forever, I'll remember this till the day I'm gone and missed .

Watching royal pains, and the diagnosis for the patients, that the said was highly contagious and potentially dangerous, and it was whooping cough. Can damage lunge .

I'm all sitting here like , I had that for like 100 days or more and it's true my lungs have never been the same since then

People can tell you what you need to do and how to do it, but it's up to you, to go through with it, the way I see it, people there are things I enjoy in this life and if I half to be judge for it, I will confess before the Father, but if you spend your life trying to do everything right then you are gonna end up lost , alone , and far from sanity and humanity , and that people is when we remember we aren't perfect so today, I say I'm glad I make mistakes sometimes cause it was never God's intention for us to never make a mistake

People say change or you'll always be the same.. demons I know them all by name, I can't tell you the amount of shame I hold myself to blame, I don't expect this world to forgive and forget or to accept the fact we are all the same. 

But God helps me through, I know even you have the days you wake up and just feel like your part of the world's problem but look next to you we all play a part and serve a purpose, I'm forgivin are you?

The worst thing in life is being or feeling a lone , keep your friends close, it's good to have time in your week to spend time with them and have fun cause you half to work and do other things all your life and remember you are only young for so long and only have so much time.

And that's what I'm learning my favorite time is spending it with my skyler and my buddy Andrew and ty . But when I'm away from them home and going to the gym by myself it's just not ideal point is have fun

Life's like water never still always choppy. Run into your dreams in the lobby , trying to figure out a hobby. but all this is such a twist let's get to the end of this i just wish there was more cause I need some assistance before I end up at a distance

Dawn of a new day , don't forget to pray, doing our best to go the right way but the enemy insist we stay, in everyway he trys to stray us away.

God has us today and tomorrow don't get confused with sorrow, no need to borrow love from above its free for those of the Fathe

Hold on a little longer, don't stop just a little further, hold on your almost there, don't give in to these life affairs but look to the lighted stairs and know it's only a moment away.

Don't fall away

One thing people, when you get older you come to a point we're you don't want anybody to predict or decide what you believe and what you want, my thoughts on this is don't let you lo faith belief because your family says so, or because it fits everybody else , but do it because that's what you want and you know deep inside it's what you long for, even people that are not believers can feel conviction everybody does.

Hear about God from others, but take a chance to find him on your own

Don't make not sinning your top priority, make God your top priority then you can be free !

Imagine the disicples in the Bible the we're filthy but the spoke the word of God , because the Put God first the we're made new !! That's just awesome to me !

Look it's clear it's not my image you should fear believe me my intentions are great, I am gonna bust out this gate and for all those of you who think I'm fake, wait, let me ask you what is your fate ? Cause let me get this straight you take me to your prime and expect me to copy every line but refuse to even take the time to step inside mine? How about we meet in the middle, no more fiddling, the only thing that is belittling is the fact you can't act to the matter of the fact we are both human and we are equally matched.

Take the money take the fame it all stays the same, let me see you spend it in the grave, while I spend my time to seek and to save and making the moments with the people i love last cause even when I die those feelings won't pass

this interaction between heaven and hell it is our distraction look at the way we are acting, impacted love we lack that, succeed we already know that, stop i heard that, miss use the truth give me a minute ill show the proof because the hatred is through the roof, what will we do when all we have is me and you? we will half to become a crew, so get use to the fact, we are all in this act so lets play our role and plan our attack

What if I am not the man I use to be ? What if I've grown weary, and my strength has faded, what if I am finding myself lost with the others, how did this happen were did I go sometime a long the way I lost myself .

what do i feel? how do i deal with emotions that are set to kill. from the beggining it was all for a thrill now i am finding out that it is a big deal,
i feel so out of hand how do i put together my pieces, feel like a lable soon the are gonna ask what brand, got 100 fans but only 2% is legit,
figure sometimes maybe i should quit i mean who wants to hear me complain wine and moan, about this life we already know, its not like i am the only
one who is alive look inside me ive already died, only thing i am terrified of is living, can't even focus on sinning cause i am to busy measuring my
winnings.

time is lie why watch the clock or listen to it tick ? what is the point so lost in it we forget that the moment is now,
its like somehow we have ended our life around a frame and a second cause we are to busy trying to live for the future

Attention let me lay this sentence. 
I be asking my repentance, God is our distance for our final destination sure we stumble we fall don't you all know that's how it is played, this life isn't a video game, but once you devote it to the King things can change and you will never be the same, see us struggling how we better off then any other? just seems like we are under cover, trying to hide from the fact that we all half to die, but truth is we can all unite in the sky it's not a lie.

How does it make sense it ain't suppose to make sense, can I ask you a question, each day you walk outside does it make sense ? When your following your mind trying to figure how to get in line, this world is a mystery dated back since the beginning of history, so if you don't get it don't even try we as humans have a limit we ain't suppose to understand the whole picture, truth is we need to look further and realize we ain't the only one God and his son are real and the can make sense to everything you feel

Life is a escalader, always looking for a elevator, to many numbers only one is right, what floor can you open the door? seems like when you finally get the right floor the power shuts off now what do you do when it's just you caught in a dark spot you're vision faded, selience closes in you feel like you are losing you're voice try to call out but it's nothing but white noise, who is listening what are you missing.

Somebody up there is watching you and the can help you but you must be willing to call on em not only when you need em he will set you to you're freedom, and all the others that are lost he can teach you how to lead em

The say stop but I'm to young to quit, anyways why stop when you are on top? 
My mind is solid, my heart is like a rock don't worry I am not all talk I had to learn to walk just like all the ones who mock, don't you know we all start as cattle and as we mature we split out from our flock.

Why even begin when it don't matter this world don't let you win ? But i would rather die trying to get out my feelings, even if you could careless call this my death wish just want to express what's on the inside because everyone has already seen what is on the outside and now you know I have nothing to hide

Technology it's beyond you and me. Imagine electricity the complicity, surely it had to be molded from great hands, that is the truth I'll stand on. 

This world has so much to offer and so many miracles and it's beautiful, the say the need proof of God but the proof is everywhere you go ! Look in the mirror you're a miracle ! And everything around you perfectly made

Mountain blast covered in ash, these memories are suppose to last , what happen to the time we had ? Now that you have past it seems so fast, yesterday we had a blast now I am sitting here waiting for the day we can meet again at last, hopefully I don't crash cause this all seems like whip lash

i get it my unclean thoughts it comes to a point when it needs to stop, but take a minute go beyond that view of me and take second to look inside me, a heart of pure love a passion from the King above ! 

i am not asking for the world just looking for my girl, i am done fooling around its time i get my voice around.
i don't need money, i don't want the best rated honey, just somebody who can make everyday sunny, and who loves to be funny and even more importantly takes God seriously, who will love our kids and me willingly , who will die before we split apart and sever our hearts, this will be were true love starts, i give you me and you give me you and we can remain true the way the world should be use to, and i know i have not found you yet but you are on my heart and i love you from start to finish, my most happy days will be the ones that end with you

The say I'm calm and I'm always ready, a pillar when it all gets heavy nice and sturdy keep me steady it's time to get ready is in need of hope and no I'm not talking about the Pope, I'm speaking of the one you already know the king above who died all in the name of love

problem with this world is everybody lives like the know everything when the no nothing at all, the say God does not make sense but as soon as the are about the die the kick and moan and try to connect with God.

i don't know if you notice people but without God this life is 100% meaningless pointless, stupid, garbage, the most pathetic thing to happen if we just die and its over and if we just came from nothing if that was true i would rather have never been born

Out here those noises the world and it's choices, my heart in a coffin those who have left once to often. Summer comes but it's only bright on the outside and cold and dark on the inside my soul is like a ice ring come and skate with me at least there will be sights to see its a good thing insanity doesn't effect me because I am to busy neglecting the fact that this life has been inflicting me and effecting those next to me, sadly this all seems so crazy wish I could just gaze the center of this place find the middle between love and humanity and hate and profanity or neutral of the enemy and what is good to me maybe you can't find the balance of me but someday it will set it's course for my full capacity and I will end this catastrophe

Elliott Robert m

 saw you gazing the star's so i thought you might like to visit mars since our relationship goes bad faster then a ship in hyper speed, but when we landed the sand storm was off the chart kinda like our hearts, spent the day it was like a nightmare but it was worth the stay as long as you are there anyway, we took a walk found some aliens Extraterrestrial being's, weird part was the new our feelings connected in away that can't be displayed doing my best to keep our love from fading these creature make us look degrading but the showed us a whole new meaning , but this entire time we been led astray because these monsters are our demons and we let them take us a way.

i fell off the planet i couldn't find gravity but i manged to land it, woke up on a beach got a bucket heck lets sand it, the water climbing high up i damned it, see this fantasy i planned it, it is fantastic, ocean filled with debris lucky me, i had to swim in it, got tired so i got out of it ended up on a island of make believe so i drew a nice picture of who i would like to be and ended up sailing back out into the see, a lonely man sadly but i found out after this i was still me, so i gave up searching for a false reality and accepted the fact, i am 

it is complicated relationship have faded, someday's i feel obligated or maybe it is that i have been jaded, try to get myself concentrated, maybe it would if life didn't get me irritated.

i swear say what i say but each and everyday, i feel less of me and more of confusion this world has covered my eyes is this a illusion i swear i am committing treason and the question is for what reason you know ill be back next season cause i am out in the cold and it is freezing , enough with the future blessings enough of the teasing i am here for something more then the daily pleasing.

this interaction between heaven and hell it is our distraction look at the way we are acting, impacted love we lack that, succeed we already know that, stop i heard that, miss use the truth give me a minute ill show the proof because the hatred is through the roof, what will we do when all we have is me and you? we will half to become a crew, so get use to the fact, we are all in this act so lets play our role and plan our attack

Losing somebody ? What Is it ? How is it ? 

Is it different for single people then for combined people? 

Most think losing somebody is just the part when you lose them, but it changes especially when you don't have a family and you are still on you're own, it changes you're life completely, a transition a roller coaster of emotions, if I had to put it in words it is the root of all pain it is the source, it's like a 2 edged sword into you're stomach or a hook being torn out a black hole inside of you.

As comforting as simply saying you'll see them soon again, it doesn't exactly cover up the fact that you want them back, to some it happened and it's time to move on but for others it dug deeper and will take longer to heal

One of the hardest moments of losing a person is seeing the hurt and struggle of this around you that are experiencing as great of pain or greater this leaving enough weight as in its own

my version of my immortal.

i am so tired of being here, overwhelmed by my fear's, why did you half to leave? i wish that you would have stayed, cause you're passing still haunts me and i can leave it a lone.

these wounds do the heal? this pain is far too real, there is only so much that time can erase.

when i felt no worth you'd remind me, when i felt a lone you'd hold onto to me, you held me up through all of my days, and now you are gone but you have all of me .

you use to bring me joy and life now i am bound by being left behind, i see you're face all of the time, you're voice if i could just hear i have lost the sanity in me

these wounds do the heal? this pain is far too real, there is only so much that time can erase.

i have told myself that you are gone, and though the love you have for me is here, i feel alone all alone

my version of say something.

say something God i am giving up on you, ill be the one listening, anywhere i would of followed you, say something God i am giving up on you.

and i am feeling so lost
it's all in my head
i thought i had it all

say something God i am giving up on you, i am sorry that i didn't speak to you,anywhere i would of followed you,say something God i am giving up on you

and i will swallow my pride
you are the on that i need
and i am calling on you


say something God i am giving up on you, i am sorry that i didn't speak to you,anywhere i would of followed you,say something God i am giving up on you

say something God i am giving up on you.

Broken glass from empty bottles proven from cuts all over the bottom of your feet, what will we meet next ? Caught up in a horror movie set give me a minute let me collect my debt. Water stains from tears that have been shed all over you're pillow and bed, wake up every morning nearly dead.

Walls covered in red from the blood the enemy has drained you can't see it with plain view but through your inside you bleed eternally, do you're best to love sincerely but you are caught up in fear what happen to living fearlessly, seriously this is all delirious and in my mind I'm furiously trying to make sense of this silently, but it's so loud I can barely hear myself think the sin that runs deep this is just a glimpse into what I think.

Elliott Robert M-

Faces of despair, searching for something the can't find. lost the universe caught up in the atmosphere, so many things to fear this is so clear no need its impossible to be pure.

fighting with our self , falling from our inner being why is everything so over baring, its like everyone is watching waiting for the moment you fail but the are the reason you keep moving, wish for the ending but scared of the judgment, how distant will we get from one another when we all live the same and on one home .

elliott robert m.

so for now on so i don't get my writings taken or anything i am gonna put my signature after everyone 

also my blog total has reached over 2k !

If you need me I'll be in the corner running music at full capacity, because mentally I can't with stand this worlds satisfactory it discussed me. We are supposed to have patience but what if get killed tomorrow and people get left in sorrow, give me a second let me borrow sometime cause every time I right a line I feel like I might be wasting my time but it is the only way I can get this off my mind .

I think I'm out of my this worlds league, nothing I do satisfies it's needs, I'm caught up in its evil deeds, maybe I just some time my heart is not ready for tomorrow and neither am I , 70 maybe 10 years that's a long time to live, and a lot of time to be hurt so excuse me if sometimes I look like dirt

Don't try to read me or try to judge me , especially before you get a chance to know me, you got evidence well show me but know you're words are below me I don't care what faze you have to show me, I'm just me and that's all I'm gonna be

The violent sounds, and sleepless nights, the bullets whizzing by, moments passing by with each moment a chance to die, Things seen by the human eye, today I remember the man and women who layed down there lives

People truth is, I half to go the gym it's my therapy, it's what makes feel some sort of worth and like I am doing something, it's were I go when I'm depress and were I go when I'm missing someone , I let out all my feelings my thoughts my anger, and everything I put it into the gym. 

Some may say this not a good way to do it but people there are other ways that are worse I could just go drown myself in bottles or sex or throw everything away but instead I put it into what I love and that is being fit and healthy

Sometimes stepping out of you're way for somebody is worth everything cause it could be there last and even if it isn't you'll never regret it .

Which way did you go ? I have been counting on you, you said you'd be there but my biggest fear has steered me off into the dark, I use to be able to hear you're voice but now you're gone and it was you're choice

Do my best to avoid prison, risin my King had those nails drove into his hand and feet so we may be forgiven

I feel like when i wake up I'm still in a deep sleep, cause i can't seem to keep my story straight week after week I'm beat, the enemy never leaves it's like a drug, addicted self inflicting damage is this a sickness, I wish is was easy but if it was I'd probably be insane cause life would be to plane.

I'm not the same I was a year ago I'm a new me I do my best to open up so you can see me and I know that person inside of me wants to bust put and shout out letting everyone know he Is gonna make it out

My vision hasn't been clear lately , Father it seems like I'm a bomb and everybody should evacuate safely. You know my heart deeply and sometimes I feel like my spirit is asleep I find myself weak wondering how Do get back up on my feet, when you're right next to me .

I don't deserve the blessings this is just me and to the world I'm done confessing it's between me and you, you're love is what I should be resting on, I'm so not selfish but in everyway I am exactly that .Give me love and hope and I promise I'll use that to glorify you till the day you come back

I'm not afraid to admit my wrongs I Sin everyday I lust I say bad words, I sometimes ignore God actually way to much , I'm not perfect and I'm not above any one I just know were my heart is and it belongs to him , I always remind myself no matter how filthy I get I will still declare his name and wear his name on me , don't let the enemy take sin and use it to feel like you are not important. 

I've done counseling on and off and I still want to a little bit but people counseling or anything act of help other then direct contact with God can not change you completely you half to make a choice to be the way you want, you can't make me pray or make read, or make me see clean, I half to do that I half to come to a place in my heart and in my day we're I say God I'm done trying this on my own I need you

Tonight is my night so listen clear cause what you are about hear is intensity entering you're ear.
Spit words you say it is what needs to be heard but have you ever thought that is exactly what should not be spoken .

Let me give you token for you're desperation to say you're mind it's clear you don't even bother to think before you speak, honestly just give a try to be a better you a better me isn't the world bad enough as it is without us acting a fool and running down our kids