step back relax , it will not end like that . there is much more to picture then just the  simple facts

You drink that's fine, you smoke you're choice, you sleep with you're loved one even know it's before mirage doesn't effect me simply I don't judge and I don't expect to be judge by others when I see people do these things I don't even see it cause I don't go there cause I love people and I see beyond there mistakes, but there is one law I will always honor and I will pass judgment through the word of God and that is to love and respect anyone and everyone and to do your best to treat and honor all God's people, you lust big deal who doesn't we are human beings sure we shouldn't abuse lust, or abuse alcohol or abuse anything, but most importantly don't abuse God's children for the have every right to this world as you do.

Muslims , jews, atheist, short, small, challenged, crippled, old, young , black, white, Mexican, British, if there is one thing my mother showed me was to love and honor everyone as Jesus did, some people say I let people walk on me and throw me around, but I don't see it that way I see it as going beyond my flesh and taking hold of the greatest commandment to every bit written love thy neighbor as thy self, Jesus died not for me but for us we are family and all deserve a chance to see eternity

My account is unfiltered , I say what I say. I am not worried about offense or whatever. It's my account my life. I feel like at the hospital that some people that deserved to be in the room at the end got left out... Also people I am me, and to be honest I am way different then any of my family , I have different views and different plans. Eventually I want to break off do my own thing be my own person and not half to worrie about what some people will say. I have and will do things you don't agree on but that is me, I am tired of being fake I am gonna be real. And if I must be judged last time I checked God has the book and power , so I'll take his judgement and accept , outside that I don't give the smallest amount about it

My minds in check. Just trying to keep everything into a way it may connect. Sometimes it seems like my voice can't relay, what I want to say living it everyday. I wonder if there's a way to enjoying this life that is out on display

late nights time depleted. this whole thing from the get go had already been defeated . if this all could go away i could feel relieved but then what would i have achieved ? i try to escape these fights and words that are  exchanged every night . it is becoming normal to me is that ok? what happens when your enemy becomes your friend ? how do you defend what you are so out to destroy. these moments these people this experience, a love hate relationship , it is almost as if you found peace it feels like something is so wrong because it can't be that easy. this confused mind state from everything you have learn to this dare of pressure and chaos finally leads to ask yourself , is it you ? is it them ? and if not either then who ? possibly a man named lucifer. the struggle is real hell is just as real as heaven

ha.. figured i would hit the keyboard while the keys are hot. all night i got it around the clock writing is a passion i have in the back stock.
i might rock your socks off with these lyrics, the inspiration attends to knock  some back but relax .

this is as real as it gets i don't back down and i don't quite i write straight up legit, spit words that would be offense in other words , but since you see , you are in the same position as me, we connect perfectly. when i write i feel free so much bottle up inside of me , so i take that time and energy and turn it into a masterpiece

You treated these scars like the are wounds, but you should of known you can not fix what has already be done, how did you confuse the two I am still in love with you.

Course
I have come so far and I still feel so close, if only I could shut my eyes and imagine it all different but somehow I like how it is, these scars made to wounds, scars made to wounds.

This life and my dream to be, I can connect to the things you see. I have been in and out of everything

. Course
I have come so far and I still feel so close, if only I could shut my eyes and imagine it all different but somehow I like how it is, these scars made to wounds, scars made to wounds.

I don't expect it to be normal again, I can't take back the way I have been, so please just see me for who I truly plan to be.

So far I have come
So much I have done
How long do I run
Normal is what I seek
Fun is all I want to feel

Here I am still Come and find me I will be laying still

Laying still

Scars made to wounds
Scars made to wounds

Mickey
Song scars made wounds

how can you be sure what happiness is ? eve more so how do you find it.

still trying to find out what is better , to be silent or heard, still or in movement . what is it i am looking for , there is not much to go the distant for . building a structure is this real or a lecture , guess this is it you can tell your self you are happy and aim to be , but in reality you never will be fully happy

Just because I believe does it mean I can't have hard times and I can't experience life, I feel like these rules and standards will be the death of me, I mean seriously so much bottled up inside. somedays as I lay in bed I get a headache from what goes on in my head. Who we to say what's right and wrong, all I want is to be me, and if I mess up then I'll awnsere in the end. I am giving it all I got and that's all I have to give. If life had a figure I'd love to fight it cause it's just to much especially for the goo hearted

Life in the middle. Kitchen counters. Open the fridge to find what you already did. Microwave counting down, anticipation of the beep until that last heart beat, trying to keep our dishes clean, I guess God is the washer, put us in we come out clean and hot, we must cool down if we expect to keeps others around. I know how it sounds but this is being layed out, sweep up the pieces, garbage is full clean out your mind, get ready to mop up the dirt that us dragged in. Point is people you can't be perfect a kitchen can get cleaned but will never stay clean and in some way it's always dirty somewhat. Don't stress something that is not possible to complete

I am sorry it was delt this way. Youngest one but sometimes feel evenly matched, age comes and goes. Perhaps I will relapse , my feelings are not acts. This ain't a battle you can see, its spiritual war I can feel. I am still standing not by choice but by life, God is carrying me on. What's wrong so many things are going on, though I feel lost I know I will find myself at the end layed back and relaxed. My belief is that even God has been unhappy before even he has been depressed .

I fear these nights, the cold ones with no lights. the lets just talk, that turn into a fight. tears that fill your vision and bring you to rash decisions , faded perhaps jaded. these feelings are intense as i have already before stated .

dreams and screams i think i forgot what it means , to feel the warmth of the sun beaming down on me . so suddenly i feel my blood rushing over me , God found me inside a place with no location . what it would be to have a mental vacation. finding fate in this conclusion chaos and confusion . these gifts i have been abusing , confusing i know because i don't even know, what exactly what i have concluded into reality . is this me ? the real me ? am i awake ? real ? or fake? truth? or mistake?

I don't expect you to understand the fact In hand, the way you been to me and those around, I lost my time and I have felt your anger, distance has made you a stranger , there is no looking up to those who look down, if you could see, who i am going to be maybe it would be, enough for you to be close to me but then that would be fake and I'd feel it was a mistake.

In some ways I understand your side trying to be perfect, is a big step when it can't be met. But i will not  begin that path, instead I'll accept what I have, I don't plan to seek what  fits you, instead I will step out to those who take me as I am, one and the same.

This is for the people who have those people

I am letting go, and taking those who love me and blocking out those who hurt me, for I wasted to much time trying to meet people's standards and to be there for them when the had already forgotten me.

I am glad it's giggles and smiles and your heart is full of God's desires

But while you laugh and play, I'll be here still standing my ground against the waves crashing around, listening to those distance sounds, and in the future you'll seek my opinion but I'll already have Givin it away, no more sorrow no more pain I let go of this in every way

so just gonna lay it all out.

so  first off  90%  of the time if i am not with my friends i am depressed .

i don't feel that i am me i feel i am aiming at what others want and see me to be .

i feel a lone a lot, that does mean my family and friends are not there for me , and it does not make it better by just doing things , with my best friends i feel not a lone .

i am terrible with people even more so in big groups, i do not know how to talk or hold a conversation.

i feel if i was to be myself most of the people around me would disagree .

i don't know who or what i want to be, i am in survival mode as of now.

also all this should not come to a shock since i am at one of the peak times of a persons most stressful part of there life .

i been working really hard to be in shape and i don't want set backs.

i sometimes feel distant from God but i think of him a lot

i am a very emotional person.

i worry about a lot of things big or small the same

i wanna get a job when i am fixed but don't know were and i don't want to work all the time !

somehow i feel like i want to die .. but somehow i managed to believe i must live.
is this the way i was made to be ? can't you see there is always something wrong with me ?
you can say i am wasting all of me but the truth is instead of looking through me, open up to what is inside, i don't need to lie, i should not half to hide my feelings, are here and my heart is right here for the taking but i can see why nobody is near me .