when i was heading out today, i thought aww i don't need my keys but right before, i left i ran up and got them real fast
most people will say so you got your keys back big deal!, but wait there is more,
soon before i left sitting at a table i heard God say, that he is in the small stuff@ not just the big.
often we say no God is not in the small stuff! like helping us remember are keys or letting are food be fresh at are
most loved place to eat! but surely God is in everything and anything.
we often don't see it, we are to busy moaning over failure desires and storms in are life and we are to busy in are succes we
forget the tiny things. Thank God everyday! weather you woke up to a good day, your coffe tested better then usual
your phone bill is paid your going to heaven, people what it comes down to thank God everyday for what you do have,
and for what you don't know you have !!

it takes a lier to see the truth, but a honest man to see his lies .
words are strong !  people say action speak louder then words ! but if this true then why is the world destroying its self over simple things that have been spoken or written, dont get me wrong action speak for themself !  but only a wise person  can understand that words cause just as much chaos and destruction

im not mad just sad, it took me this long to figure out what i had, really its my bad, i am just glad. my eyes open up your probly like what? but sit down and hold up cause i got words that say enough i should not haft to be in the rough, people say tough, well guess what i am not gonna shut up i am gonna fix what i started cause see i am a man who joined the broken hearted.

i know what its li...ke everyday everynight and everyone says its gonna be ok but you go another way, this life is heavy there are no breaks, you got to take everything you make other wise you end up with to many mistakes, learn from your loss and pick up the cross , follow the King the one who gives everything for you and who adores you, don't push it away your not the only one today, that is fighting with this! so stop fighting the relief i know it feels like your giving up, but by letting go your showing how much you love them, don't mean you wont miss them, or that you wont keep wishing you had them back relax, God knows all that so let him take the cross of your back !

Everytime, take a moment to remember you, I forgot how real the pain is, I don't how much I can bare my heart, is slowly crumbling, my soul feels like its about to vapour away. This is not all I haft to say God if I could just have one more day, then I could maybe have all the words I need to say, but now she gone away and everyday is like falling off a cliff into place I never meant to be, I can hardly even see my mind is falling down into the deep point of view, its all just so real please take off the pressure in me!

MOM I MISS YOU AND NEVER WILL STOP MISSING YOU!

sit back relax, take off your backpack, and sit your jacket on the racket. listen to my peace of mind laying words like i am out of time, good thing you read this line
gonna pick somethings up, and show the signs the wonders, that are happen everywhere and anywhere dont bother to declare when, the one and only has already bared the pain that we cause in this world what a shame.
people open up, look in the sky , every one denies and confess its all a lie, but really we all die, how much can you, take before you break or end up drowning in a lake, from your mistake, its never to late to ask him to make,
you a child of him its a win win.  why so shy around the people that you see that have him in there eyes, why you feeling guilty if nothing is wrong hold on and come back don't step back he is right there so just, sit down listen up and here what he is gonna say.

people making it a joke but can't even right a honest note, and don't have any wisdom on the word that was wrote, find go out on your own, stay a lone, but remember satan will defeat you he will beat you, tell you that you are no good and that you shoud give up,
its hard your gonna have a lot fo scars ! this aint a trip to mars, arn't you a little concern what happens when you heart stops and your soul is still wide awake, its gotta make you shake.
wondering around like there is no purpose for today or tomorrow, playing it over with stuck up sorrow, believing that the world made you, when the world is the one who destroys you,  like stop and think just for a moment the world, has givin you nothing, but,  pain, anger, sadness, depression, lies !
cant you see the cry's of the ones in your life, so just give your life to Christ and you wont haft to think twice because he has place in his kingdom for everyday and everynight so get it right !

bring it to the top then stop, meet me down the block, lets break this lock with a rock, we aint gonna sit in a the midst of it, what is this we are holding in are sight that, just does not feel right, well the sin and delight of the devil and his wicked insight , stand with me fight hold on for one more night, for it is never to late to call out for his might, to pick you up out of this, Jesus ...is always in his prime so relax give him some time ! make sure you read this line before i declare it as mine.

push those demons back holding, onto the one i know has my
back just like that day and night like night light follow me left and right, he does not rest nope, but he does confess the good things that are in you and me giving us a chance to see the change that needs to be, so pick up your bag, stop with the drag and lets live like we know what is in the bag! salvati

I tryed to stand, so maybe the world would understand what I am writing down, hope it gets around town, just trying be the man I ought to be a man of integrity not a flee hidden under a tree, I am free from the man I used to be , so hard cause some people don't see I poor my heart out for all to read, like a open book pouring out honesty even in the midst of my tragedy, doing my best to get it out of me, cause you see its eating me and maybe if I could get out of my mind, then I can be the true man he called me to be

wait i got more to say, and not enough ryms to display, i guess ill just wing it and hope i stay in it, there was a time were this was all in my mind, but now i just find away to post it on my time line, you see its all good and great till its not late to go back to the date were you could relate, hold on here comes the break in the ach, of the words i say in my messages everyday anyway.

thanks for your support in my writing its all in God's timing, maybe it is down when it gets around, but i know it speaks out to you now, so give it a chance to stand out and you will find out it is truth not a nagative layout

psalms 88, A song; a psalm of the Korahites. For the leader; according to Mahalath. For singing; a maskil of Heman the Ezrahite.

I

2LORD, the God of my salvation, I call out by day;

at night I cry aloud in your presence.a

3Let my prayer come before you;

... incline your ear to my cry.b

4*For my soul is filled with troubles;c

my life draws near to Sheol.

5I am reckoned with those who go down to the pit;

I am like a warrior without strength.

6My couch is among the dead,

like the slain who lie in the grave.

You remember them no more;

they are cut off from your influence.

7You plunge me into the bottom of the pit,

into the darkness of the abyss.

8Your wrath lies heavy upon me;

all your waves crash over me.d

Selah

II

9Because of you my acquaintances shun me;

you make me loathsome to them;e

Caged in, I cannot escape;

10my eyes grow dim from trouble.

All day I call on you, LORD;

I stretch out my hands to you.

11*Do you work wonders for the dead?

Do the shades arise and praise you?f

Selah

III

12Is your mercy proclaimed in the grave,

your faithfulness among those who have perished?*

13Are your marvels declared in the darkness,

your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

IV

14But I cry out to you, LORD;

in the morning my prayer comes before you.

15Why do you reject my soul, LORD,

and hide your face from me?

16I have been mortally afflicted since youth;

I have borne your terrors and I am made numb.

17Your wrath has swept over me;

your terrors have destroyed me.g

18All day they surge round like a flood;

from every side they encircle me.

19Because of you friend and neighbor shun me;h

my only friend is darkness.

Me

we all fall for we are all sinner's, we strive in the darkness even when light is available we cry out, but when he response we fail to hear, we are caught up on fear, O Lord help us !

prayer

Help o God for i fall in darkness, and selfishness, but i know my true desire is you nothing else, sustains me , hear me !!

My life seem's calm and ready , why frankly steady, getting back my strengh aint like some public stack of everything i ever attack, breaking my back just to get a chance to relax, i am on the buttom looking up trying to find my way up, don't fill the air with crap life aint easy its as simple as that, i am not holding back no more here my words if the are to hard to hear must be, striking up so...me fear, cause i spit the truth read it and you will see the proof, the world has tangled me in a life that i imagine for me, now i am trying to get my eyes to see the true me the one God called me to be.

satan is taking my time, trying act like it is all find, i mess up and i am stuck on a place were i see my sinful face, but listen up ill be knocking him off me and making sure he don't mock me, i am man of integrity wait and see, ill take the enemy , and tell him all about me, cause i am not afraid no more i am shutting the door, to this place i don't care to see anymore.

busting out the cage, gonna take out my rage on the devil and his stupid game's, i rap for the one and the only, that is why when i write i never feel lonely, the lies of the enemy try to own me but the can't even begin to control me or keep up with the fact that God will never not own me, you see this is not a joke to me what i am about to say may make you think more about your way and everyday so here is what i am gonna say.

God lifts us up, but that don't me life aint hard, the world try's to cover your eyes with all of it's lie's, then by the time you open them up you feel like you should have kept them shut, you don't money tree and a note that has what your suppose to be, take to much fro granted only hearing what you hear, trying your best to avoide your fear, maybe that is just what you need, the enemy is trying to plant seed's of destruction leading you to your doom, so get up and push him back don't let that be, call out for the King and he will make sure your free from all this tragedy

so as you a probly thinking wy would i right a book of souls we only have one soul right 
well yes but the thing is before you find christe your soul is broken into peaces you think peaces ?? 
well like love trust lust giving are all peaces of your soul you must first find christ before you can make one soul wy because god is the key to happyniss so as i take you through this book understand that the peaces are one but not intill you find truth. 


the book of souls 
what has happen to this world feels like there souls are controlled what must we do for controll 
do we fight or do we not depends what you think where have you lost faith was it when you fell or when you blinked your eyes 
have i pushed hard anoff for the people around me better yet have you ?? sometimes we think there is no point to life are we here but can we make a point 
well thats your choice are you ready to make your relationship eith god what you want it to be ??? 


its time to take you thrue the book of souls 
first soul is love love is not something to play with it can change your friendship and life style 
love can also judge character love is a feeling for some one not a saying lovee is strong 
testing love is not easy it can be a path to hate depends on how you handle it decisions are what make it last when you marrie some one it can be for pleasure but for love 
when you get married you can also judge how long you love that person what im trying to say is your love tord god is it just a saying or is it true ??. 




soul 2 respect 
respect is tricky but its very powerful if do not have respect for people then you have none for god 
respect is how or what you do or the way you treat people can make people like or hate you 
if you want some one to treat you with respect you must first treat them with respect them even 
if you dont want to no matter how the treat you respect should grow so how is your respect tord god and people ??. 





soul 3 one of my most cared about souls 
trust. 
trust can hook to love and respect and trust is weather you love and respect and trust god 
without trust there can not be a new level to life question is do you trust or do you not its just like 
you trust your mom trust is very importan it can take your love and respect away so how is your trust ??. 




soul 4 receiving 
receiving is getting a gift a gift or word or even money god gives us stuff 
sometimes what we got to understand this is just as importan as any other soul if you dont receive 
then you cant get things god is trying to give to you its a blessing to get gifts so how is your receiving??. 




soul 5 giving one strong thing. 
you must not only get things but give things giving can be great way to make your life more happy 
god should not always haft to give he should be able to receive things you can give to him 
love respect trust worshiping praying giving your life to him 
giving can be a key to happy life so how is your giving. 




sould 6 accepting 
you must learn how to accept wy you ask ?? well in order to have the last 5 souls you must be willing to accept them you must be willing to accept god and people no matter wjat the have done or do a key 
to open many doors is to accept so how is your accepting ??. 




soul 7 
lust can make life terrible can make everything a tool of sex lust is how you accept things 
how you look think and hear things. things that cause lust porn people things like that 
the way you look at girls can also effect the way you look at god and your wife lust can make your wife a object also god a object so how is your lust ??.0 




soul 8 the key happyniss 
your probly wondering wy is happyniss the last soul wll because when your soul is broken and hurt and your peaces are lost the only way to make your soul and your life have happniss to make your soul one is through jesus christe 

you cant have any soul without happyniss 
wy because happyniss controlls everything love respect lust trust accepting giving receiving words thought and the way you live for god and the way you treat people so you see is all comes down to one soul happyniss so are you broken or are you whole have you checked your soul ??. 




thanks you for taking your time to go thrue this although the last is happyness people have difrent thoughts the reason happyness is last is because 
before you fine god when its in peaces you have not yet had the love of jesus the one true love but when you accept him your peaces become one a soul of happyness 

 praying for me cause i am conerned with the sin that pulls me so close see lord every time i look at you i get my mind lost with false hope of maybe what i have been doing is ok i tell people its all ok but inside i am being blown away and feel thrown away i am looking up at the sky wonder if your looking down wondering why maybe its all a lie maybe my mind is just stuck in line from all these real world lies and to many goodbyes will i ever have a peace of mind sitting in my room half lost crying looking for a truth in all of this before i fall into the abiss i play it like its cool but i look like fool feel like i got nothing but but my sin and filth maybe i should just forget the guilt before i foget where i was built

so i was sitting in the car talking about how i use to respond to people over xbox live. and i got a few words. before i use to get mad at them and fight back with them. but now i learned. that really when some one sends me a message like. God is not real. your stupid or  something bad. its really a cry for help the want to see how i respond. the don't want to say i need God. so the say something like that to see what i haft to say the want a response. the truth is you need the right response. like pastor bob said in the service i want to see what this guy has. i want him to show me. and i was thinking of imagine

if the heart just like Jesus had a boulder in front of it and 2 demons were guarding it and the had a seal on it. and the only way to move the boulder is by the word of the lord !!

some where in the dark of the late night. the stars shine like i peace of mind. for a show to be made of certain crime.

most of us do not see. do to are eyes being so blind to what hides inside are twisted mind. fear time maybe even a line. but don't ignore the wicked signs all around bed time... are eyes can see or so we say. maybe its just another day alone and away. or maybe its a day where you see just on the way of your mind when its at bay. blame your self for its  ways but don't forget who came your way. scream with rage and strike with fearsome swipes and all your might but make sure your doing it right other wise you might loose your eyes to the world's wicked lies 

see father i been learning all my simple stuff. like i am out in some crazy world of confusion with my mind on the line i pray you hear me and that ill be just fine as long as i can hold a rym your in my mind every time i take the time to see you even know i am blind. the world is not mine at least it seems though of truth of your proof i hear my fear but you hold onto me so dear and you show me you in the mirror everyday on the way to say my words to you so that i can show you that ill be by your side even through the tide. you can make wide till i realize whats truly in my vision of living . life on top of the world with your hand on me don't you see me for what i have done i know it is not much your like my krutch without you then who am i. i start cry everyday and night feeling straight from dark night of very hard life. some say i am not big enough trust me i know so ask you to be the one to send me home without hurt or sense of all the nonsense. your my hear my body and soul your the one who controls the very movement of spiritual  world. and you know its true when i look at you that my life is very sinful and i got nothing to hide i confess to everything i did that made you hurt and feel this very pain that is not a game i feel so ashamed. that ill stay right here till i can face my fear if it will show you that i don't mean to do these things. that pull me down on the ground all over my town in even on city ground. everything i see every time i speak. i hear every time i open my eyes i see it so i am asking will you delete it.

 the say God is not real cause the cant see him. i don't know about you but i have not seen the big bang ?? have you ??. HI have you seen any monkeys turning into humans. not that i know of. k thanks. any one see a alien put something in a monkey. or a whale walk on land. i have not seen any salmon running around so that's a good sign.  hey wait here is a rock on the ground. what so great about a rock. well by picking this rock up i can tell you dinosaurs lived 200 million years ago and that salmon did turn into a lizard. oh i see can you tell me when i wake up ??. 

you know i why would i want to worship i alien anyway and between you and me a think i would rather not get probed anytime soon... atleast its not on my list. and if i get sick of land can i go live in the sea maybe i will evolve into a salmon or maybe sea monkey not for sure... maybe if its not too much God does exist maybe he did creat us and loves us. that sound a little more closer to truth then well you know

yes i know you think you seen it all. and yes i know you believe that you got it all. have you ever open your eyes to see have you ever looked in the mirrior to see what you fear. have you ever thought maybe there was more. who are you living for.  

why you were dreaming laughing and playing with your friends i was fighting for my soul ya fighting for it. 

and i was dreaming of a new point of view to see what is in store for me.

i want to see the truth i want to see the truth behind you.

you think you have it all. and you think you are on high ground well i got news for you. i am sorry but your not. cause if it is for you. then it is not true what about the king. the one you made it all. he does not forget the people in the back or the people in the front. or does he look away from some one who has fallen to this world. well if your so much better then me

prove it to me.  you thought you had it hard but you don't know the word because while you smile around i am fighting for my soul.

why you were dreaming laughing and playing with your friends i was fighting for my soul ya fighting for it. 

and i was dreaming of a new point of view to see what is instore for me.

i want to see the truth i want to see the truth behind you.

I press my hand on the sand. And then I stand. There are so alike but so fare away from eachother. When I look at the floor I see a whole new thing. But when I touch the ground I feel a who'll new thing. When I smell. My food I smell it. But when I lick it I taste it. When I. Hear God it is beyond me. When I. Feel him its beyond all things. And when I love him it makes it all that much more.

ill be honest i lust who does not ?. i say bad words sometimes. i have seen movies i wish i did not. i have played games i wish i have not. i scrue up all the time. i have let alot of people down! i know that. i have had turn my back on God before and i regret it. i have spent most my life locked in a room by myself playing games i know that.  if Jesus was here i would tell him everything. cause yes i do not like the things i do. but there is know way on earth some one can say i am afraid ! i will take full blame for my action and things i mess up on. and i think every one should !. 

another thing is its funny what some friends say hurt!. and family. 

life is hard right now cause. its always.

i am not strong enough.

i am not skinny enough.

i don't read my bible enough.

i don't go outside enough.

i don't go hear.

i look like this.

my dreams are to big.

but one day all will see i will succeed in all my dreams

i will be a singer 

book wrighter 

pastor 

and no i will not be good in 1 but all i will be big in all. cause God put it in me and the day it comes i will run to the very gate the devil hides behind and i will knock on it. and God through me in this life time will shake the world through his Glory cause i may not show it but i love him and i am for him.  

and everybody says

your life is not hard you did not got to school

you did not go through that much.

you try spending countless hours alone dwelling on your sin.

losing your house that you loved so much

almost losing your mom.

losing some one close to you.

watching some of your family fall to the world and forget the one who called. them.

not seeing your brother that lives so far away.

not being a good enough person for what is in store 

knowing that everything you missed in your childhood do to what happen is gone

getting thrown head first into your adult hood with no choice but to get a life and stop being a baby.

man sorry people but i feel so far out of the worlds view that i am just lost

the only time i seem to get notice is because i am tall. if i was not i don't think i would be because i already not so much.

i spoke my heart for all to read no this is not bad it is ok people to vent your self to others i don't care who reads this. this is me and i am deap inside a Jesusfreak. i will show you some day 

thanks for reading don't take this in a bad way it is just my saying 

preach like a lion people you have not seen anything yet 

make me  a object. but i will deflect. make it a bet and i will make it regret. say its a threat. then it will put you in debt.

also i can't spell worth junk.  i did not make it all the way through school. i had trouble passing my permit test so yes i still don't drive and probly will not soon. i don't have a job right now. 

things are what the are 

i try to sing but it seems like i can't i think i am good if i could only sing loud.

but one day people will see 

thanks for hanging in there glad i got this out

hese i did a long time ago.  first on is skillet songs put together to make words. 2 is owl city songs put together to make words.

 my mom walked into the room and i said please dont wake me i slowly fell asleep in i hear whispers in the dark when i woke up i said lord i trust you but what about my Imperfection that is eating me away i feel like i am locked in a cage like a monster

i need a hero a savior but the older i get i feel more faithfull i feel forsaken this thirst is taking over you are my hope my obsession i see angels fall down will you be there ??

....as i awaked i notice i was in a vanilla twilight sitting next to the rainbow veins as i felt the city air way that brought me to the salt water room as i saw some fuzzy blue light that  took me to the Designer Skyline were i went swimming in miami and  i found myself with Captains and Cruise Ships  and  This Is The Future were i started a West Coast Friendship i woke up like a early birdie and plained are super honeymoon and said dear vienna ill meet you there on the wing of a hot air balloon and we saw fireflies next to the tip of the iceberg were we cave in to the strawberry Avalanche sitting on the Umbrella Beach

next to the tidal wave as i told her about the birds and the worms and then i song a song to saying if my heart were a house

think you got talent think you got skill. well listen up i do and so should you. i know how to ryme but not when i am put on time cause i like to shine. i am hook to stone of broken bones.  funny how you read my rythm but that is fine cause i am sure i am on your mine just like line i don't do crime cause i don't need that and its fine.  

believe me i see all about me when i get mean i can be a real fiend. so can you i can show so don't get up on me cause i will haft to put you down on the ground and maybe even knock you around. did you here that sound its my cry to the father that i so easy decline but i can see him in my mind all of the time. 

cause i know what i do is wrong and i bag for him in all my written song. its hard to hide from a selfish file i hide in my denile.

its all a mile away from the true and final smile

take your time to read this rym it might even blow your mind. 

so listen up todays day that he came into a world of blame and sinful shame. to show us life and give his life to let us see the truth. and to show  us why when we look in the sky its a reflection of a diamond in your eye. 

he came back from death like a true threat did not even haft to make a bet. he said the word that turn are words upside down and all around like a marigold round. so if your gonna make a sound it should be about the truth in your town.

christ came not blame  not even to show  us are shame.

but point out are goodness and show us are truthfulness. and show us life that only he can give and during that he forgived !

well i feel God was telling me to right this note.

and people whatever sin you may have whatever thoughts pull you down don't listen to it. and don't even say your not worth it cause think why did are king take the time if your not worth it ?. you are worth it all no matter what fault !.

and don't listen to the world does not matter what size strengh race hieght looks. there will be always some one or something that turns that down. don't put your eyes on the world but put them on God. and the purpose he has givin you be glad that he picked you for what is to come don't fall into the trap the devil lays out.

any one who reads this and needs saved send me a messege stop waiting stop asking him or her if you should make your own decision don't let the world choose who you are what you have and what you believe come out and stand up. Jesus loves you and wants you to be free!

most people say God is made up of the world and the will not listen to it !.  but what about the things the world tells you all the time and you listen. like do this watch this. play this listen to this. if you look at it from a view in truth we all listen to the world and don't see the picture and yes you haft to respect the world and whats in it but. don't mean everything it tells you is true or ok !

well the song she will be loved by maroon 5. i made my own !.

God of glory i was only 18 i had some troubles with my self. you where always there to help me.

and i drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door.  you blessed me so many times but some how i want more. 

i don't mind spending everyday out on my kneese in the poring rain. look for the church with the broken smile ask them if you can stay awile the will be loved.

the will be loved 

the will be loved 

the will be loved

tap on my window knock on my door. i want to hear your word its so beautiful.

its not always what we want and what we think its. truth that moves us along. 

his heart is full of love and his door is never close you can come anytime you want.

he knows were you hide alone in the dark. knows all things that make you who you are.

i know that my sin means nothing at all. everytime i fall he catches me everytime.

tap on my window knock on my door. i want to hear your word its so beautiful.

i don't mind spending everyday out on my kneese in the poring rain. look for the church with the broken smile ask them if you can stay awile the will be loved.

the will be loved 

the will be loved 

the will be loved

Let the will of the Lord be your strength, love the people you care for, wield your sword and strike fierce, with strength the Father has allowed you to have, never tremble when those you care for are in need stand, even if its hard and you have more I know it is tough, make haste to those who need you, don't wander in your objects but settle in your gifts, when you have made your love strong and your mind steady, with the strength of the Lord and the love of the people then shall you be invincible, follow his path and guard his people, and you will never fail, even in the darkest hour the darkness will flee, and the light will bring refuge to Gods people!

Satan take my close, strip me of my jewelry, spit at me and call me weak, laugh in my face, for even in my bareness, my faith is strong, and thick as the most thick wall, do your deeds for I do not brake, God is in me and I know were you will go! In the end, and no matter how much you torment me does not change that. You want a fight well here I am, but believe me when I say I dare not fight you a lone nope I stand with my God . 

this aint another satisfaction, of this life i have been put in, this pain is real like no other, not a joke when you lose your Mom, this life fading fast in there is no staying, the grief is off the chart can't even get a head start, i thought i had it hard enough all this garbage and such, just begun to feel like life was moving up, then it cut deep in my heart, like a knife push deeper until ...the pain was no longer something to bare, its suppose to get better well look the weather, nothing change its the same old thing, sometimes i think who is next? i lost my chance for the one i trusted, i gave it not enough and i ended up with nothing but a what if, this such a drama, life just carry's on in its painful passion, this ain't lies were do i cry? how do i try when my mind is just to much to deny, someday ill fly and get away and maybe ill just stay there for the day, to get my breath back so that i can relax just little, seems like every few years life gets worst and gets harder and harder, how much of this do i haft to face sometimes i am just sick of this place, make me new and true and protect me from this flu and give me a drive for you, Father its true, i would go insane without you, help me stay with you, cause i cant let her go and i know you know this is gonna show, so help me to let it go

Settle with this note that I wrote, take it down the block post it don't stop, the new picture has been pasted the new year has not yet been wasted, shake life up a bit, forget all the junk that the pass brought up tell it to shut up, bring the glory to the new start thank God you don't haft to restart, set a goal for the new year, be true , tell the devil he don't own you, and he don't know you, follow through with the true you drop the shadow, the lie of your sin something within needs to begin, and with him you will always win! !

this sin pull's me in, deeper then i expect, my time run's from me this is not a pleed to try to make it be what i see,

Lord you know me and my heart and how i started, it was goin so well but then i fell so far down i just want to here a sound and not be found in a corner of 
my lie's, i know i stumble but i do my best to stay humble, my life is not, as much in line as, i had hoped, but my heart is strong for what is right, i make my prayer everynight
your Love holds me so tight and it feels so right, but my sin pulls me with all its might, save me from my loss of sight, i try to hear but my ear's, are so unclear, i try to speak but i am just to weak just give me one more week
to seek you, and believe me when i say if i could change it and go back to when i could relax i would and i would change from all this,

save me from the abyss this selfishness i want more of you and i need it so that i can achieve what you called me to be !

one thing my Mom always told me was that i could wright, that i had a talent, a heart for it a gift, well she was right, when i type i feel alright inside my mind, takes a brake from all the heart ach, and take's me to a place were i can can place my dream's and my joy, i can express myself in everyway and everyday, it brings me closer to him how much else can i say

God, when you took her you took everything.

I understand why and all but it rip my heart out! Ill be honest God, I can't take much more of this, my mind is falling apart, it already was before, and I have not even got started with life hardly, I'm tired of it, I need a break, life is just pain and confusion! Chaos, I'm so uncomfortable.
People who read this do not take it badly, I find it better to vent outloud then to hide it inside

 

I know my post have striked as depression, and it seems like I am stressing, believe me I am just confessing. I'm not trying to play tough or be rough, or leave anyone in the dust, you gotta trust, my word's must be heard, is it enough, ill admit maybe I am a little crushed, its frustrating to much is being overrating, I am sitting here debating, but its just not sustaining me.

The wor...lds in selience, with lies of defience, who ever shall confess there sin shall not perish, I am trying to cherish this, OK enough of this :)

I speak the truth in my words not to pull nagative out, but so that people know me , not for a fake smile or picture but for who I am, what a joke a it would be if I always said I was happy , that would be I lie, I don't want to be special I just want to be honest, so that one day when I become who God called me to be, I'm not a mystery box lock in cage, so that people see me for me! Not a painted picture! I struggle we all do so hang in there friends in may be a little rough, but I always get back up. Good night people! 2:30 in the morning 2013

 

wait and see the one he called me to be , is in me , i feel a change and it is kinda strange , my strengh that i have to gain passes all of my lifes pain, you will see ill be the man he called me to be as crazy as it may be, the lion in me will be free.

i know it is hard to see it in me all of done is be me, but a i see i new me a better me, i will not focus on the strengh of me but of he, the ...one who created me, i was made to with stand this hand, that cover's me from God's plan, i am a working man! more then everyone could understand, the fire is getting higher and i am getting closer to my heart's desires ! my family will be everything to me i cant even wait to see, the one who was made for me ! destiny is right there before me and so i shall be everything i have been put out to be!.

hater's hate i am never to late, his time is prime , wait till i get to the punch line, the devil tries to cover me with lie's and i try to denie, God know's my cry, hear me that one day it will not be the same i will preach the words i am told to speak, my strengh will be beyond the world, but only because of him in me, i will have success and be blessed, the devil can have the rest of the selfishness , i confess i must be out of breath, i am looking for a way to express, this life that is on my mind and i know that i am just waiting in line someday it will be all mine, but i haft to cling to the one who called out to me i am not afraid to follow through, so i will live it up and be true to you, God it will begin and i don't know when but it is gonna happen fast !!!!!