ill be honest i lust who does not ?. i say bad words sometimes. i have seen movies i wish i did not. i have played games i wish i have not. i scrue up all the time. i have let alot of people down! i know that. i have had turn my back on God before and i regret it. i have spent most my life locked in a room by myself playing games i know that.  if Jesus was here i would tell him everything. cause yes i do not like the things i do. but there is know way on earth some one can say i am afraid ! i will take full blame for my action and things i mess up on. and i think every one should !. 

another thing is its funny what some friends say hurt!. and family. 

life is hard right now cause. its always.

i am not strong enough.

i am not skinny enough.

i don't read my bible enough.

i don't go outside enough.

i don't go hear.

i look like this.

my dreams are to big.

but one day all will see i will succeed in all my dreams

i will be a singer 

book wrighter 

pastor 

and no i will not be good in 1 but all i will be big in all. cause God put it in me and the day it comes i will run to the very gate the devil hides behind and i will knock on it. and God through me in this life time will shake the world through his Glory cause i may not show it but i love him and i am for him.  

and everybody says

your life is not hard you did not got to school

you did not go through that much.

you try spending countless hours alone dwelling on your sin.

losing your house that you loved so much

almost losing your mom.

losing some one close to you.

watching some of your family fall to the world and forget the one who called. them.

not seeing your brother that lives so far away.

not being a good enough person for what is in store 

knowing that everything you missed in your childhood do to what happen is gone

getting thrown head first into your adult hood with no choice but to get a life and stop being a baby.

man sorry people but i feel so far out of the worlds view that i am just lost

the only time i seem to get notice is because i am tall. if i was not i don't think i would be because i already not so much.

i spoke my heart for all to read no this is not bad it is ok people to vent your self to others i don't care who reads this. this is me and i am deap inside a Jesusfreak. i will show you some day 

thanks for reading don't take this in a bad way it is just my saying 

preach like a lion people you have not seen anything yet 

make me  a object. but i will deflect. make it a bet and i will make it regret. say its a threat. then it will put you in debt.

also i can't spell worth junk.  i did not make it all the way through school. i had trouble passing my permit test so yes i still don't drive and probly will not soon. i don't have a job right now. 

things are what the are 

i try to sing but it seems like i can't i think i am good if i could only sing loud.

but one day people will see 

thanks for hanging in there glad i got this out