Sometimes I just sit inside my head and let my insecurities run on replay as I ponder my next move in society. I draw blanks for my direct personality I walk blinded by the cruel truth of reality. Though some take me as a fool one who is not smart or who does not pay attention fails to see the fight on the inside of this dark wnemy names depression.

I am not looking to be an obligation when I walk in a room the only person is me I will be impersonating, I am not fake so why are you waiting? Love is pure this is not a debate so please stop debating. The enemy gets on my nerves it is so fustrating, four walls covered up in all these photos of devestation God removed them, and started painting renewed the walls like a blank canvas my sins are no longer hanging. Only person I will be blamming is myself, cut down the ropes.. balance isnt my thing, so please do not mistake me for another joker.. 52 cards, and every card I draw cant be played, distinctly I sit respectively, picking my battles I do this selectively. Pitty me no need I ain't looking for the old me. Face to face I stand, picture perfect never happened its all in Gods hands. My emotions have been my weakness sad part is you will all be juding, when the truth is strong people wear the truth on their shirt like a over used button, forged in fire taken to another level my heart burns brighter. Flight or right?, naw I am in the middle, caught between devices holding onto God these battles are priceless. Building character precisely God has a plan, and it will all pan out nicely, all in time I wait nightly, and I do not let my feelings go lightly, in the end he renews, and ignites me. Glory to God.

In these times in comeplete darkness, we walk slowly through as we feel the cold touch against our skin, each foot step echoes all around, and nothing else can be heard accept your thoughts swirling around. Right when the hope you had is lost a light flickers on, the voice of a savior passes over you like a sweet song, and you find yourself in peace in the midst of black the King has always had your back.

Sometimes in life we jump to conclusions, we find easy ways out.. But what if God asked you to sit in the dark? In a place you have never been, and to be still would you? I feel like God is challenging me to face my fears, and allow him to do work in my situation. One of the worlds biggest fears is the unknown, one of Gods favorite times to work in our life is the times we are in these postions, and the only option we have is Him.

My heart is a mirrior reflecting every single one my fears, open the door everything around me is confusion golore. I have lot to say so I display it with nothing held back, I mean... I am real so what can I say?, socially acceptable?, I am just being me.. talking to God is how I relate, I wonder how he invisions me. I do not take credit, I earn it these goals are beyond me, but my hope I am wearing tightly on me, you could say I have a gift, I can write for hours, and never miss a beat!, hold up I need a minute to breath. My mind is racing these words you best be tracing, never been afraid of the enemies that I will be facing. God in my heart, the world scared onto my chest, this bucket is heavy from all the tears that I have shed my performance days are over, the curtain is closed I am here to be myself.

Sorrow bleeds.drained inside these puddles and leaves.our days are numbered though so many are forgotten and so little are remembered.wasting our breath as the clock ticks on, looking for awnseres or at least someone to confirm our decisions throughout this very troubled life.

Close our eyes at the final light only to awake to a dreadful delight cold yet reassuring that we are indeed still alive. So we pick up our feet and put on our mask of feelings in hope we will exceed one more day. God knows our trials and gives us strength through the struggles and pain.the only final word left to say is I sure hope he rememberes my name.

though i had planned my path, franticly i found myself at a loss of my path for days i wandered with not a single breath miss used but soon i found that amongst me was a still figure of regret from what i  had become and what i had not.

here i lay frozen beneath the ice hoping one day i will break free and in that moment everyone will see, i was molded from my past so i may be a light for all who are willing to see

That still moment all alone as you sit quietly in your chair, the creeks and noises of the house, those faint whispers as the wind passes by.

Scratches you hear? those overgrown bushes and you could never forget the smell of the candles as the burn freely.
Left to ponder in your own mind as the time passes with not a moment feeling as if it will pass by, tears of the journey's that have struggled through yet still somehow you are still aware and awake prepered and destined to win over every mistake.

Hide in the shadows you should not, you listen for noises that should have been forgot, remember the truth is not what you arnt but who you are, exactly who he intended you to be so next time you sit in the place of selience seek the memories that bring you happy thoughts and never entertain those voices of your enemy the truly lie tremendously